Kajirae Reflections Pt 1|
~ The Girl in the Glass ~
When I look in the mirror, I see different things depending on where
I am at with myself.
Some days the occasional pimple or the rolls of fat stand out more,
some days the beauty stands out more.
In more depth though…
I see a woman who is beautiful. She has large, slightly almond
shaped, deep brown eyes, full lips, high cheekbones, dark eyebrows
that would be a bit too pronounced on many women, but they work on
her face and a big-ish "Cherokee nose", but again, it works on her
face. Her face is sprinkled liberally with small freckles. She has
red hair with a few strands of grey that have appeared in the last
few years. He hair is considered long by most, but in her eyes, it
is "just starting to get long again" It brushes her butt when she
leans her head back. It is part curly, part straight. Her neck is
graceful, especially for a woman of her size and it is enhanced by
her Master's collar, along with a pentagram and a medicine bag that
she wears. And a Mjollnir (Thor's Hammer) necklace that is even less
removable than Master's collar. It is a tattoo. Her 7th (of 12). Her
shoulders are broader than most women's, but still beautiful and
decidedly female. She is muscular. She has well defined biceps and
forearms. She thinks that is beautiful too and loves to see her
muscles flexed. She has very ample breasts that are full and still
have not lost the fight with gravity. They bear the silvery marks of
having fed her 3 children in their infancy and also bear a few marks
of a different sort from having fed her Master.. These are scars from
cuts made by a scalpel. The are small and not too noticeable unless
one looks closely. They are just more things that mark her as his.
Thinking of scars, her body also bears many scars from the anger that
she used to turn against herself in addition to the ones that others
placed there. On her arms and some on the legs. There isn't even a
one inch square place on either of her forearms that isn't criss
crossed with the evidence of her self destructive past. And then
there are the old needle scars. Most people can't see them anymore.
Even the doctors don't know unless they are specifically looking for
them, but she still sees them. Feels them when she explores the old
sites with her fingers. It renews the gratitude she feels for her 15
˝ years clean and sober. Her belly.. round and with a roll at the
bottom..2 when she scrunches certain ways. Stretch marks, a knife
(stabbing) scar and a tattoo of a spider's web with the Chinese
characters for "scars" and "acceptance" in the web, her still healing
belly button piercing. Her sides bear more stretch marks and there is
another stabbing scar on her right side, though now it almost blends
in with the stretch marks. Her butt is not as rounded as she would
prefer, but it is still nicely shaped and muscular so that it
isn't "sagging" like the magazines say it must be at her age/weight. Generous thighs
and hips; thick and solid. Her left front thigh is marked with a
faded branding of a Kef, almost 2 years old. It is barely visible now
and she is reminded that she wants to beg Master to have it redone
this summer, but this time with a permanent brand. Her right front
thigh has a tattoo of a heart with a banner with line and an X on it
(x________ ) like the "sign here" thing. The knees are pretty scarred
up, but what the heck, almost no one has pretty knees, and hers
really aren't all that bad. Her calves are well defined and shapely.
All in all, she has dancer's legs and is very pleased with them. Her
ankles are slim, but still sturdy enough. The left is adorned with
slave bells that tinkle with even the slightest movement and the
right is marked with a slave anklet that matches the slave bracelet
on her right wrist. Her Master has her well marked :) Now she
remembers…she forgot to note her hands. They also have many scars,
some self inflicted, some from work, some from fights, some
accidental misc. stuff. They are strong hands, slightly callused..
Working hands. The fingers on the right hand are all a bit crooked
from having been broken, and the knuckles are perhaps a bit gnarled
for a woman of her age, but they are not bad at all and she has
nicely shaped nails. When they go long enough without getting broken,
she gets asked where she gets them "done" and other women are
surprised that they are her natural nails, so that must be good,
right? LOL. Her feet are.. well.. feet. They are dirty now from
running around barefoot. That is a common thing. They look pretty in
sandals (when they're clean). The bottoms are anything but
pretty...They are very callused because she hardly ever wears shoes
and wore them even less growing up.
She realizes now that the woman in the mirror is a friend today. She
wasn't always. She was once a bitter enemy, bent on the destruction
of the woman looking into the glass, filled with self loathing and
misery. The reconciliation has taken many years and much hard work
and faith, not just on my part, but the loving toil of others as
well. Again, I am grateful for all that I have and all that I am.
And I am grateful to the slave who presented this challenge so that
I could have this opportunity and to all of the slaves who replied to the
challenge, especially the one who really took the plunge and bared her soul, for pushing me to seize the
Thank you all.
And I am grateful to my Master, for helping to foster the friendship
with that woman in the glass. Without him, without his being the man
he is, the only man I have found worthy of the trust it takes to
surrender to him, I would not have a reason to be on the list that spawned this writing at all.
Nor would the woman who looks back at me in the glass.
© Khaos WolfKat 2004